Aladdin and His Not So Magical Lamp

Aladdin seemed to have it going for him. He’s 32, Libyan and good looking. He’s in Dubai temporarily and seems to have a promising career. He has manners that all men use on their first dates to impress a woman, i.e. paying for the meal, opening and closing car doors, pulling out the chair at the restaurant. He could even hold interesting conversations and he was polite.

Surprisingly enough, several dates later his manners still hadn’t deserted him and Layala was genuinely beginning to enjoy his company. Of course one thing started leading to another and the possibility of sex was looming on the horizon.

When they finally got between the satin sheets, after nearly two hours of passionate foreplay Layala decided to do more than just rub his magic lamp. To her great surprise her Libyan lover’s lamp seemed to have a broken fuse, and refused to rise to the occasion.

A challenge! Something all women enjoy just as much as men. After Layala’s jaw locked more than three times, Aladdin’s lamp was definitely beaming proudly and smiling bright. The genies just could not wait to be released!

Some more rustling and maneuvering of body parts ensued and Layala had thought the moment of truth had finally arrived.

Well the truth arrived and left – and made absolutely no impression at all.

“You’re too tight” he whined, “I can’t get it in.”
“I know, it’s because it’s been a while – just go ahead it’s okay, it feels good!”
“I can’t you are just too tight, sorry!”

The fact of the matter is, even if Layala was as wide as the grand canyon, there was still nothing that Aladdin’s lamp would have achieved in it’s limp state. It seemed his genies were happy to rot in their lamp.

He then proceeded to go down and visit Lady V and show her a good time. After which, they rolled away from each other and to avoid any awkward silence, they made small talk. During this attempted post-coital chat the truth did emerge…

Aladdin had visited Cyclone the previous night.

Moral of the story: Manners are important. Even if you can’t finish your own meal, it’s a good habit to help others finish theirs.

Note to all women reading this blog: There’s NO such thing as being too tight. Men will do your ears if they could, because tighter is always better. Ask any plastic surgeon.